Upon naming his Olympic squad Stuart Pearce claimed he had a duty to Great Britain to pick the best team available, claiming that there was no room for sentiment. In doing so the inexperienced manager decided to leave out the Nations favourite and footballing superstar David Beckham for other over aged players Bellamy and Richards. Are you seriously telling me that Team GB have a chance of winning a medal, i think not! Thousands and thousands of Brits snapped up tickets so they could say that they had seen Beckham play. He has more skill in his new hairstyle than half of the squad put together. From dead ball situations he is and still is lethal! As we have no chance of glory we believe Beckham would of lit up the team and pulled them through just like that famous game at Old Trafford when he single handedly got us to the World Cup! But Pearce said he had a duty to Great Britain. So if that is the case we expect your resignation before the games start. You are only the manager because of your links to the FA. You have a duty Psycho, a duty to reinstate Becks to the squad and go back to being Roy's lapdog!
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You would think that after being given a public dressing down for his off and on field antics our favourite Mario Balotelli would be keeping his head down this summer. Especially after playing a starring role for Italy in the Euros. But oh no he strikes again. Instead of clean living over the summer Mario reportedly ran up a £4,000 bar bill in one evening at Linkers Bar in Ibiza and was openly seen swigging from a champagne bottle. This will surely not go down too well at the Etihad where Mancini was quoted as saying he was finished at City. We ran into Mario but he wouldn't turn round for us to take a picture. All he kept saying was 'Why Always Me'. Answers on a postcard to uglyfootballers.com
One is world famous for appearing in Toy Story whilst Mr Potato Head has been scoring goals for Barcelona, Everton, Spurs and laterly Grampus 8 for years and years. But we think there is something spooky going on as the likeness is too exact. Have you ever seem them together? Shout us up any other lookalikes you have spotted over the years!
The scenes witnessed at White Hart Lane the other week bought a tear to the eye of football fans the world over. It puts everything into perspective. If ever Bill Shankly's famous quote was proved wrong this is the time. Everyone at Uglyfootballers wishes Fabrice Muamba the best in his fight for recovery. We are with you all the way big man.
Minutes to go at Old Trafford and it looks like United are going to go three points clear at the top. But late substitute Danny Murphy surges into the box and Michael Carrick trips him, what a late turn in the race for the Premiership. Penalty, its a penalty, Clint Dempsey can give Fulham a share of the spoils here from the spot. The blue side of Manchester are going crazy, not to mention myself as Dempsey is in my fantasy team. Can Fulham take advantage. But wait! What happens next is beyond belief referee Michael Oliver waves away appeals and doesn't give it. The biggest stone wall penalty you will ever see. How can he not give it, he must, he has to for the good of football. But he doesn't. Bottled, bottled, bottled. Martin Jol is tearing his hair out, well he would be , you get the general idea. Never in the short history of the Premiership has such an injustice occurred, it makes Lampard's goal against Germany seem fair. What is the point of having a linesman, my uncle Horris would of flagged and he has no arms, he doesn't even have a flag. Being a Man City fan if he did i know where he would put it!
Ramsey inside to Song, who passed it sideways to Rosicky, he then turns and passes it square to Ramsey. This repeats for a while then Arsenal lose the ball. Where is the cutting edge the width, is Theo even on the pitch sometimes, dont even get Gooners talking about Arshavin or Gervinho. Arsenal have gone from the unbeatable side that contained Pires, Henry, Bergkamp and Vierra to a team so lacking in drive that even Blackburn (BLACKBURN) with the prolific Goodwillie upfront gave them a lesson in sticking it in the old onion bag. Heaven forbid RVP gets injured, that would leave them with about as much chance of Champions league football as Wigan. In other words they have somehow gone from footballs beautiful swan gliding through teams without hesistating to the Premier Leagues ugly duckling. The only answer is to spend for the next season with the quality of players that will have an effect now not in ten years. Surely Arsene sees this, lets hope so for the grumbling gooners out there!
As im sure you fellow uglies are aware today is Valentine's day, it is the one day of the year we need to be romantic. Forget that it is expected of us!!! So do you simply stay away from the match so you don't have to answer the old 'You love football more than me' question. I tried this once but spent the whole evening simply checking my phone for goal updates from my mates, which inevitably created friction and the response 'why didnt you just go to the game instead!!!! Arrgghh. I even gave up tickets for a FA Cup quarter final away at rivals Villa to spend the weekend with my now ex in Oxford. What happens we beat them for the first time away in our history, how did i miss it? Why did i miss it, my misery is further compounded with the very same 'why didnt you just go to the game instead'!!!! What am i doing tonight, im spending it with the wife, ive told her she is more important might of forget to mention were not even playing! Let us know what you decided, did you book that all important dinner table or go tail between the legs to the match!
"Cap a tea" Arry, ah triffic Sandra, lovely, just the job, had one of those at Portsmouth not a moments trouble.
All is quiet at Sandbanks, the recent heart problems and much reported court case are all in the past, now the Redknapp's can relax and stay on the back page. Or so they thought. fast forward to the FA headquarters and Postman Pat has resigned his post as England Manager just months before the Euro's. Picture the scene "Arry its the FA on the phone, they said the England job is available, Fabio has quit, they want to interview you" Hold on they want to interview him, give him the job NOW, what are they waiting for? Lets face it though going back to when Cloughie should of got the job, the FA bottled it and since then a succession of wrong choices and foreign managers have seen us go from contenders to a complete laughing stock. Don't get me started on the Wally with the Brolly. I dont want to hear Mourinho, Holloway, Pardew or Shearers name anywhere near it. So Harry put those slippers away and take a bow, you are the only candidate and the man for the job! Shorly the FA wont get it wrong again? Watch this space!