Gareth Bale

Tottenham Hotspur

He flies down the wing with the greatest of ease, all with a little help from a pair of simply enormous ears. They’re massive isn’t it.

Age

19

Position

Defender

Birthplace

The Valleys

Lookalike

Worzel Gummidge

Pre-match meal

A cup of tea and a slice of cake

Superstition

Mould hair in a ridiculous style to cover up ears

Ugly rating