Martin Keown

England

Mirror mirror on the wall who is the ugliest of them all. Don’t feel too sorry for old Keown, as we are the ones who have to look at him.

Age

42

Position

Defender

Birthplace

Sewer

Lookalike

Scarecrow

Pre-match meal

Ruud van Nistlerooy

Superstition

Shout and put hand up for offside as much as possible to detract from my face

Ugly rating